Article
Article No.: 10-9
Article Title: EQ-Squared: Enhancing Your Emotional Intelligence
Author: Linda Gravett, Ph.D., SPHR, CEQC
Got smarts?! I’m not referring to IQ – I’m asking about your ability to understand yourself, read others, and adapt to situations that occur in your daily work life. Regardless of our organizational role, each of us has the ability to enhance our EQ, or Emotional Intelligence. In this article, I’ll recommend concrete steps that individuals can take to develop their innate verbal, creative, intrapersonal, and interpersonal dimensions of Emotional Intelligence for success in the workplace.
Ways to Enhance Verbal Abilities
Do you ever find yourself searching for just the right word,
either when writing a letter or explaining how you feel about an
issue? To expand your vocabulary, the Thesaurus can be your
new best friend. In many word processing software programs, a
Thesaurus is included in the Tools section of the menu. Take a
minute when you’re composing to look up words that are the best fit
for your intended meaning. If you’re about to make a
presentation, whether it’s for a conference or an internal staff
meeting, pull out a hard copy of a Thesaurus and check for similar
words to those you’re considering but aren’t completely satisfied
are “just right ”.
For some people, daily journaling is cathartic and a wonderful way
to capture thoughts, impressions, and reactions to one’s everyday
existence. If you haven’t ever kept a journal, consider
starting one. This is a terrific – and private – way to become
accustomed to using the written word as a means of personal
expression. Stationery stores offer a wide selection of
journals, from the basic notes pages style to hardbound, fancier
styles. The cover isn’t what’s important – the opportunity to
capture your thoughts, hopes, and goals in writing is.
One of the best ways to enhance your verbal skills, especially
presentation skills, is to attend a program such as the Dale
Carnegie Course or Toastmasters. No, I don’t receive a
commission for referring people to these programs. I do
believe, however, that this and other presentation skills workshops
can provide an excellent practice medium to get past shyness and a
sense of inadequacy in giving presentations. Courses such as
this provide a foundation of platform techniques first, followed by
an opportunity to plan, give and receive feedback for
mini-presentations on a regular basis. The key to skill
building is practice, and a course such as Dale Carnegie or a
university speech class can afford a safe environment for honing
one’s skills.
If you have a car and a CD or DVD player in said car, then you have
an opportunity to develop your verbal ability! Instead of
listening to the same music over and over, why not occasionally
listen to a book on tape? Not only will you be entertained,
but you will be hearing words that are new (or words you know used
in different ways). Of course you could also listen to
audiotapes of workshops and conferences with the same end result.
For some of us, 8th grade English class is a distant memory. We
learned in 7th and 8th grade how to diagram sentences and use
grammar correctly. We can’t all go back to junior high and
audit an English class; however, you could purchase an English
textbook and browse through it in our leisure time. This would
refresh your recollection of the proper use of our beautiful
language, both in verbal and written form.
Enhancing Your Creativity
I’ve heard many of my friends and coworkers say, “I’m just not
creative!” You may have more creativity locked inside you than
you realize. The key to unlocking that creative bent is to
engage in some different types of activities to stretch the “brain
muscles”.
One suggestion is to take an art or photography class, even if you
haven’t ever had an interest in pursuing either as an avocation, let
alone a vocation. This type of class will guide you towards
leaning on your visual sense of proportion and color and placing
items in relationship to one another for the best possible effect.
I scored abysmally in all the 8th grade standardized tests on
visual/spatial ability, and I took a series of photography classes
when I was 21. I stretched my visual senses to appreciate how
objects look juxtaposed to one another and to understand how to
frame an excellent shot so that people and scenery are shown to
their best advantage.
This may sound strange, especially for you ladies: take a
basic auto repair class at a local high school or vocational school.
Auto mechanics must have a solid sense of “what goes where” and the
impact of one part on several other parts. This type of class
will provide you with the knowledge to understand what estimates
really mean and heighten your “feel” for shapes and sizes of
objects.
A practice you can engage in while you’re all alone is to write
directions to your house from several different locations.
This exercise promotes a sense of geography and your ability to see
in your “mind’s eye” where the target location is in relationship to
a fixed point. As you become more adept at this skill, people
to whom you provide directions will be very grateful!
You can enhance your visual/spatial skills AND have fun at the same
time by purchasing and playing with children’s building block toys,
such as LEGO’s. While some of the toys are fairly basic, LEGO
also has more sophisticated toys to put together, such as race cars
and rocket ships, which are definitely challenging. If you
have young children or grandchildren, you’re in luck – you can use
them as your “cover” to practice!
Enhancing Intrapersonal Skills
More men than women have confessed to me that this is a weak area
for them because they weren’t encouraged as children to be
introspective and reflective. Yet, one of the best ways to
minimize making the same mistake twice is to reflect on lessons
learned from past errors in judgment. The suggestions below
are intended to get you more in tune with yourself and build your
understanding of why you do the things you do.
My first recommendation is the journal idea mentioned earlier.
You may be thinking, “what do I write about?” Write about what
you did that day, your dreams and how you moved forward to achieving
those dreams, and the people with whom you interacted and how
they affected you. People I know who keep a journal have
reported this to be very cathartic because they can vent without
actually saying something out loud that they’ll regret later.
Going back over what you’ve written in the previous month can
provide insights to how certain people, events, and the world around
you affect and influence your behaviors.
If you haven’t had an opportunity to take a personality profile such
as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) or True Colors, this could
provide insights into your personality and why you react the way you
do to certain people or situations. These indicators are not
“tests” – they can’t be failed. Through a series of
event-centered or people-centered questions, these profiles assess
the way people take in information, process that information, and
respond to the world around them. When I took the MBTI years
ago, I had that “aha” moment that comes to those who aren’t sure why
some people just push all their buttons, or some situations are
clearly uncomfortable.
A career coach could also help you understand your true wants and
desires; specifically, in terms of the direction you want to take
your career. If you’re solid on that front, you might consider
a life coach whose role is to ask you the tough questions:
What do you really want out of life? What makes you happy?
What volunteer activities will help you grow personally and
professionally? The coach does not answer the questions for
you. The coach guides you towards finding the answers
and being truthful with yourself first and foremost.
I’ve studied T’ai Chi for years, beginning when I lived in Southeast
Asia. T’ai Chi is a combination of dance, toning, and self
discipline. In T’ai Chi, the body is calmly and steadily
moving and bringing in energy to fuel the body and the brain.
The quiet time necessary to move through a series of what appear to
be dance steps has the secondary benefit of opening the mind for
introspection and reflection. Only 20 – 30 minutes a day is
necessary for maximum benefit.
Enhancing Interpersonal Skills
If you’re an introverted, reserved person, you may desire to
build your interpersonal skills in order to relate effectively to
people at work or socially. The following suggestions are
tailored to that end.
My first recommendation is to take a course on negotiation or
conflict resolution. Courses of this type require that
individuals consider others’ needs and wants in order to offer
solutions to problems they have in common. Successful conflict
resolution requires all parties involved to think creatively to find
ways to improve a process or address a problem. Conflict
resolution workshops teach people to “get over themselves” and think
about what others might want in order to agree to a course of
action. These workshops also teach people to articulate their
own wants and needs effectively so their feelings are clearly
understood.
Most fields have a professional organization that meets on a regular
basis. Membership and active involvement on a committee are
wonderful ways to enhance interpersonal skills. To best take
advantage of membership, go to most of the meeting during the social
hour and walk from group to group to introduce yourself. Join
a committee so that you know and interact with at least those people
in the organization.
If you don’t tune in to peoples’ “body language” during
conversations, start doing this. If there’s a discrepancy
between the words someone is saying and their body language,
discount the words and rely on the message they’re sending
inadvertently. Having a sense of the entire message helps you
become a better listener, ask probe questions when there’s a
disconnect between body language and words, and takes you “out of
yourself” to build better interpersonal skills.
Our last suggestion serves many purposes: get a dog, take it
for walks, and talk to other walkers. If you’re not
comfortable just starting a conversation with people you meet, a dog
is a terrific vehicle to break down barriers. I’m 5 feet 2
inches tall and had an Irish Wolfhound (about 100 pounds) for
several years. I couldn’t walk more than a block without
someone stopping to comment about that, which started some excellent
conversations and friendships.
The central message in this article is a simple one: you can
build your Emotional Intelligence on a day by day basis. I’ve
offered a few suggestions in order to get you thinking, and I’m
certain you can use them as a springboard for even more techniques!
If you have any questions or need more information about this article, please complete our Contact Form, or contact Dr. Gravett by telephone at 513-753-8870 or e-mail info@gravett.com.