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• What did you just learn about yourself?
• How can you use this information tomorrow?
• What do you think about this approach?
• How can you adapt this technique to your work?

In addition to asking a lot of questions, effective trainers listen to the responses and tailor their training style to meet participants’ needs.  In a recent time management training session, I asked, “How can you use this activity log to plan your week in the future?”  One person said, “My experience with activity logs hasn’t been very good. I don’t know if I want to try these again.”  I needed to ask some more questions before moving on!  I inquired about the reasons the tool didn’t work for her previously.  She – and others – was able to articulate experiences with poorly executed activity logs.  Now we were getting somewhere.  This discussion provided me with an opportunity to share concrete ways to avoid the pitfalls that the participants detailed.

Emotionally intelligent trainers become students of body language.  I’ve found that body language communicates what people are truly feeling, more so than words.  For instance, have you heard trainers ask, “Are there any questions?” or “Does anyone want me to review this segment again?” and then barely glance around the room to determine from body language whether anyone is confused or frustrated?  The emotionally intelligent trainer instead asks, “What questions do you have?”  This shows the participants that questions are expected and actually encouraged.

Just as you need to read and interpret others’ body language, you’ll want to be aware of the messages your own body language is sending.  I distinctly remember the first graduate-level class I taught several years ago.  I was nervous about leaving out essential points in the lecture portion of my classes. I had extensive notes, and I placed them on a small table beside me so that I could refer to them often. I was tethered to those notes.  My eye contact was good; I invited class participation; but I confined my movement during class to a two-foot radius of the table.  I was very surprised to read this comment (often) in the student evaluations at the end of the quarter: “Linda is not approachable.  She doesn’t walk around and talk with us during class.”  That was not the message I intended to send!  Now when I teach, I walk around freely, notes in hand for easy reference.  It works for Oprah Winfrey, why not for me?!

Emotionally intelligent trainers acknowledge that workshop participants have expertise and experience.  Yes, the trainer has (or should have) a high level of subject matter expertise.  In our research, we found that workshop participants weren’t especially enthralled with trainers that had knowledge of the topic but didn’t invite participant discussion and interaction.  People want to share their own experiences and suggestions.  To be successful as a trainer, it’s necessary to foster a give-and-take dialogue within the classroom (without letting one or two participants dominate).

Balancing Listening with Telling

Think about someone you know who you believe to be an excellent listener. What exactly do they do (or not do) that leads you to characterize this person as a good listener? Perhaps some of the descriptors you identified are similar to mine:

• Maintains eye contact
• Asks questions
• Doesn’t interrupt when you answer questions
• Doesn’t judge or appear shocked by what you’re sharing
• Paraphrases to ensure understanding

An emotionally intelligent trainer exhibits these skills during training sessions, and the result is that participants want to share their ideas, make suggestions, and ask questions.  This in turn promotes an energizing and productive training environment. Learning for adults must be interactive and experiential. Students won’t experience anything except drowsiness if trainers aren’t astute enough to balance “telling” and active listening.

Encouraging Interaction

If you’re a trainer, you’ve probably experienced a group that was introverted and (seemingly) unresponsive to your attempts at promoting a two-way dialogue.  I’ll share some approaches here from successful trainers that will jump-start your sessions when this happens.

My first message is for you extroverts out there….you know who you are!  The message is this: a moment of complete silence is OK.  Ask a thought-provoking question.  Pause.  Let people know they can have time to think.  Not to worry – someone will respond.  I don’t recommend, however, that you goad participants into responding with comments like, “Come on…somebody knows this,” or “Don’t you guys talk?”

Consider asking two or three people in advance to be prepared to share their perspective on some of the discussion questions you plan to use. Even introverts will be talkative during class when they’ve had some time to process their thoughts and ideas.  For that matter, why not share your workbook in advance for people to review?  If there are articles or books you intend to use as a reference, provide an advance reading list.

Sometimes individuals are not as comfortable discussing questions or concerns in front of the entire group.  The emotionally intelligent trainer will do some homework to discover which participants work effectively together.  Mixing up groups into smaller breakouts is an excellent way for participants to feel more relaxed and to expand their knowledge of others’ work.

Another factor that affects workshop interaction is the diversity of participants.  I conducted an in-house seminar recently on the topic of communication between men and women in the workplace.  The group that sponsored the workshop was a female executive forum comprised of top-level women within the organization.  Men and women were invited; however, 70% of the participants were women.  One of my initial questions that I used to open discussion was, “How do you think men and women differ in the way they give instructions in this company?”  Female hands shot up…responses were swift and impassioned.  Not one male responded.

My choice was clear: let male participants sit in the back in their huddle, disengaged from the activities, or find a way to pull them in right away. Fortunately, I had met with some of the participants before the training (men and women alike).  The men told me that they felt misunderstood and stereotyped (!) as uncaring and pushy.  They worried that regardless of what they said, the female workshop participants would mistrust their true intentions.  Knowing this, I used this moment to lighten the tone and encourage participation with a skit that the focus group helped me write.  One of the guys in the focus group participated in the skit, about male and female coworkers passing along a directive from the company President.  We exaggerated every male and female stereotype imaginable.  The skit was funny and people couldn’t help themselves…they laughed, and the interlude loosened the men up and they started to participate.

If you would like to assess your level of emotionally intelligence, email me at Linda@gravett.com and I’ll send you a self-assessment I developed for our book on emotional intelligence!

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