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Perhaps you were wondering as you read the title of this article why it
should be necessary to develop one’s EI, as a trainer or otherwise. I
believe that the more aware you are of your professional development needs
and those of others, the more effective you’ll become in assessing
situations and taking appropriate actions in response. While this can
be a challenging process, developing your Emotional Intelligence is possible
and can positively affect your life personally and professionally.
Think about your favorite trainer or teacher. Why does this person come to
mind? He or she must have made a considerable impression on you in
order for you to remember them. Was it because they were highly
knowledgeable and were able to transfer some of that knowledge to their
students? Did they leave you with “news you could use” and apply to
your daily life? Did they make you laugh, or make you think? I’m betting
that the reason this person could leave you with this positive impression is
in part because of their Emotional Intelligence.
There certainly isn’t one right way to conduct training. Each trainer
has unique characteristics and approaches that may not appeal to all
workshop participants, for different reasons. Your personal style will
evolve over time and become yours alone.
If you’re already a trainer with a few years of experience, you probably
already have competencies such as active listening, facilitating discussion,
and problem solving. Perhaps there is an area or two where you’d like to
expand your skill set; such as time management, follow-up after training, or
closure on key concepts. This is not unusual – many of us are strong
in one or two areas and need help in others. Acceptance is the first
step towards positive change, and recognizing that you need assistance or
refinement is important. Indeed, self-awareness is one of the
components of Emotional Intelligence.
Former football coach, motivational speaker and author, Lou Holtz, wrote a
book titled, Do the Right Thing. Coach Holtz suggests that one doesn’t
have to be the best or the smartest at something in order to manage the
assignment well. A shortfall in technical competence, he believes, can
be outweighed by “doing the right thing.” I believe that a leader in the
training field understands this clearly.
In his book, Coach Holtz explains that he was in a position many times to
play in big games. His teams were often not the favorite. But
they won anyway, and the players attributed this to Coach Holtz’s
inspiration. He led by example and motivated the team by letting them
know that there were those who didn’t feel they deserved to be playing in
their league. The coach challenged them to get beyond the nay saying
and believe in themselves. This ability to lead and inspire others is
a critical component of Emotional Intelligence.
One of the most fundamental issues with training has always been obtaining
stakeholders’ buy-in around training objectives. First and foremost,
the trainer needs to believe in the training before participants will even
be interested, let alone motivated to join in. The Emotionally
Intelligent trainer is keenly aware of motivation principles, such as the
fact that people are motivated differently. As a trainer, you can
develop your awareness of others and inter-personal competencies by asking
potential workshop participants in advance what their expectations and
challenges are around the training topic. When people get to talk
about themselves and are clear that they’re going to have at least some of
their concerns addressed, they’re much more likely to be involved right from
the beginning in the training event. If an abstract with objectives is
sent to participants after they’ve been surveyed or interviewed (containing
topics of interest to them), it’s highly likely that people will come to the
training in a receptive state of mind.
Emotionally Intelligent trainers that I’ve observed strive to build trust
between themselves and participants from the moment people enter the
training environment. One way to build trust is to be aware of
trainees’ “hot buttons”, such as issues around compensation levels or
obstructionist supervisors. Knowing when to avoid topics and when to
include them in discussions is crucial to building trust. When a
pattern emerges where participants insist that a tool or idea offered is not
feasible, for example, I will stop and conduct a Force Field Analysis to
surface barriers and support mechanisms. This can start a positive
momentum because people are able to “vent” and offer positive ways to
implement new ideas, as opposed to sitting in silence thinking that the
trainer’s suggestions are theoretically sound but not feasible to implement.
An Emotionally Intelligent trainer is a change agent. This is probably
one of the riskiest aspects of training, and not all trainers want to assume
this role. Perhaps your organization has some poor performers and
their managers want to retain them anyway because finding replacements is
time consuming. The managers may believe that the cost of turnover is
too high and it’s in the best interests of the organization to attempt to
turn around poor performance. As a trainer, you may be charged with
the responsibility of magically turning poor performers into stellar
employees. An Emotionally Intelligent trainer will take steps to
assess each individual situation and help the manager determine whether the
true problem is a skill deficit, inadequate resources, or something else.
If the true problem is inadequate resources or lack of willingness to do a
good job, the trainer may be the one to bravely state this case, in a
message tailored to the audience, and suggest other alternatives to
training.
A key to increasing Emotional Intelligence is recognizing and naming your
own feelings. Happiness, sadness, anger, fear, and shame are the five
core emotions described in the current literature on Emotional Intelligence.
You can learn to name your emotions by becoming accustomed to tuning in to
the physical signs that accompany feelings. For example, I’ve learned
that when I clench my fists I’m feeling anxiety. I became aware of
this association by noticing in several pictures taken of me, over time, in
different types of situations where I had my fists clenched. I started
to reflect on what was occurring in these pictures and identified instances
where I was nervous or anxious, despite the smile I had on my face for the
camera.
Ask your friends and family to help you identify your emotional “hot
buttons.” Accept their feedback and look for these indicators in future
interactions. We will sometimes have to receive negative feedback,
which is hard for all of us. Think about the popular television show,
American Idol. Simon Cowell, one of the judges, is known for being
rude and obnoxious. Often what he says is true; he’s just insensitive
in his delivery. Some contestants accept his criticism and even thank
him, acknowledging that he’s entitled to his opinion. They clearly
don’t build their life around his comments.
I suggest that you write down those behaviors that allow your emotions to
get the best of you and devise a plan to confront them. For example,
perhaps a coworker has left you a rude phone message after work hours.
Instead of responding by phone, plan to confront that person face to face
and let him or her know how upsetting the phone call was to you and that you
want to resolve the issue immediately. You may find that the person
left the message after hours because he or she was uncomfortable with
confrontation. You can take this opportunity to model positive,
win-win disagreement. Each incident that you handle proactively
provides you with experience so you can get past your own discomfort with
handling conflict.
I realize that you don’t always have time to practice scenarios in advance.
In real life, there are no dress rehearsals. However, the more you
reflect on and even practice how you’re going to approach people, the easier
in-the-moment interactions become. Project how you will handle
aggressive or talkative workshop participants, for example, so you envision
how you would respond.
If you have questions or comments on this article, feel free to contact
Linda at Linda@gravett.com.
This article is an excerpt from a book that Dr. Gravett co-authored
with Dr. Sheri Caldwell, The Emotionally Intelligent Trainer, which
will be released in late 2007.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Gravett is founder and Senior Partner of Gravett and Associates, an
international organization development consulting firm headquartered in
Cincinnati, Ohio. Her email address is
Linda@gravett.com.
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